>>31 (OP)
I was in a similar predicament a few years ago and went with an X5 (F15). It's perfect for a family of four, and can fit three car seats in the back comfortably, if needed, but I don't think it meets your criteria.
What is your price range? Definitely under $60k, but what is the max out of pocket that will keep you out of a loan?
Are you in the rust belt? If so, you're not going to reasonably hit 500k without the unibody rotting out. If you aren't, then it beats me because I am x_x.
Are you 100% set on 3 rows of seats, or are you willing to do 2 rows and just deal with the cramped car seat setup for a few years if #3+ comes along?
What are you looking to tow? Just a small folding trailer or do you have a boat?