You know what I think?
I think I'm going to make my ass look like a baby foreskin so Mike Chitwood eats it. I'm going to fart on Mike Chitwood in public. I'm going to buy out Mike Chitwood's favorite brand of matzoh balls and then sell off all its assets and declare bankruptcy. I'm going to cyberbully Mike Chitwood at recess. I'm going to report Mike Chitwood to the IRS. I'm going to hypnotize Mike Chitwood into becoming a femboy. I'm going to peacefully convince Mike Chitwood to drink my piss. I'm going to walk my dog in front of Mike Chitwoods house and let it shit in his yard. I'm going to seduce Mike Chitwoods daughter and impregnate her and then leave. I'm going to get in front of Mike Chitwood in traffic and go 20 below the speed limit. I'm going to move in next to Mike Chitwood and buy a motorcycle just to wake up at 5am and rev it in my driveway. I'm going to ding dong ditch Mike Chitwood. I'm going to file a formal complaint against Mike Chitwood. I'm going to popularize the phrase "you chit the bed". I'm going to get drunk with Mike Chitwood and convince him to get a bad tattoo. I'm going to make sure Mike Chitwood got all 4 covid vaccines and 3 boosters. I'm going to terrify Mike Chitwood with Nazi imagery. I'm going to flush Mike Chitwoods car keys down the toilet on accident. I'm going to prevent Mike Chitwood from getting a victory royale in Fortnite. I'm going to give Mike Chitwood poor service at a restaurant. I'm going to deny life-saving surgery to Mike Chitwood. I'm going to set Mike Chitwood's alarm clock back 10 minutes. I'm going to charge Mike Chitwood usurious interest. I'm going to move in to Mike Chitwood's congressional district and vote the opposite way he does even if it's against my own interests. I'm going to tell everyone that Mike Chitwood is the imposter. I'm going to call Mike Chitwood a nigger. I’m going to have sex with Mike Chitwood. He will fall in love with me and I’ll give him a glorious gay wedding he can be proud of. I’ll walk hand in hand with Mike Chitwood as two kings unite. Then I will divorce Mike Chitwood and take half of his possessions, forcing him into an irreconcilable depression which eventually estranges him from his family and community